It was a stormy Easter Bank Holiday and the Kalahari Scorpion Dancers were performing under a torrential down pour in the market square. The crowd looking on consisted of three coach loads of old ladies who were on a mystery tour in the Cotswolds when one of their buses broke down in the Cross Hayes. The rest of Malmesbury's able bodied revellers had retreated into the Whole Hog to watch from the windows.
There was a sudden gust of wind and the chimneys started to shake enough for several of the chimney pots to come crashing down into the square scattering the Scorpions in all directions At this point a strange sight appeared over in the Tolsey Gate. It looked rather like a man but in a yellow dress and doing some sort of exercises that resembled an ostrich on hot coals.
Then Henry came out of Abbey News with his red bobble hat on, looking at a newspaper, and shouting out aloud, "Museum Jobs, come and get your Museum Jobs." I turned in my tracks to make a hasty retreat and nearly walked right into William of Malmesbury who was carrying in each hand a meerkat. "Hello," he cried, "meet Rowena and Christina, we're about to perform for the children in the Abbey, would you like to come along and watch," he asked.
I reached into my pocket and brought out two very large spiders and fed one each to Rowena and Christina and watched as they gobbled them up with glee. "Sorry, have to rush, I'm off to catch a flight to Australia, hate this rain, bye." Bank holidays are so boring in Malmesbury.
